still somewhat underemployed at work ... however boredom is pushing to think of all the things I could possibly do to make my colleagues lives easier when I'm gone (telling them what I've done and what still needs to be done etc.) so I'm feeling quite virtuous!!

something I've been thinking about recently is that anything I find difficult to do or engage with ... it tends to be that 'difficult' = 'to be avoided at all possible costs 'cos it's 'bad', uncomfortable, puts me out!!' And whilst I have no intention of swinging to the opposite extreme of it's difficult/I don't want to do it = God's will ... I've been reading quite a lot recently about Christians who've been persecuted and not denied Jesus, who've given thanks for their difficult circumstances 'cos it has brought God glory.... I have problems fasting from even one meal, nevermind always speaking the truth in love, talking to people about Jesus no matter what that means about what they think of me, being 'Jesus' to people when I'm tired/ feeling poor/ in a hurry!!
... although I sign up to the intellectual fact that the Bible clearly teaches that as Christians we should expect to have a hard time from the world, the flesh and the devil, my actions don't reflect that, I look for the easy time, the comfortable place... even though it's not always the happiest place! how much of a paradox is that?! - the basic problem is lack of faith in God's unfailing immovable love for me and those I come into contact with... when we get a bit more of that it gives room for both the difficulties and the blessings... bring it on Lord!