Sunday, May 21, 2006

a marathon, not a sprint?

well, tonight's service at hOME was really helpful for me in many ways - firstly in the worship, which I entered very aware of my own weakness (I really disappointed myself today - nothing major, but not something I could pretend was OK either!) and God's love and grace, and my need for them, became very evident to me... again, which was truly, deeply lovely.

secondly as Kyle was talking about John 15:9-17, it struck me that I have always thought that my Christian life is about progress and that I will get better at it. But being a Christian is fundamentally about a relationship with God, not a skill set. Relationships, like the vine and its branches, not only grow, but they also get pruned - and as they go on get more difficult and costly not less, because they bring up in you not only the nice stuff that you set out at the beginning, but if they are to be real there will also be hard times and hard things to face - which isn't progress so much as depth. That is so releasing, that as a Christian I will continue to learn and fail to learn, and practise and fail to practise what it entails, for my entire life - I will never be an expert who never gets things wrong...

So, resolution, leave behind 'modernist' values of 'progress' and embrace relationship with God - hooray!

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