well I know I've been away a very long time, and there's lots of reasons for that, mainly the fact that I managed to drop my laptop on my wireless network receiver... and am now on the poverty-status of dial-up at home (currently tapping away in the Wycliffe library) - I did try and get it fixed, but to no avail, and I wasn't exactly motivated to pursue a solution; with my exams and a long essay deadline looming, I had discovered the freedom of being effectively internet-less ... no more of the '5 minute twitch' to check whether there was anything new on the BBC website, or to see if I could find yet another blog to sate my desire for yet more information and opinions, if the ones I was reading regularly (of friends and strangers) hadn't been updated.
It's not that I've gone completely Luddite and stopped using and reading the internet, but I don't have the saddo need for information that I did a few months ago! I do still enjoy reading people's blogs, but I'm more hungry for relationship with God than I am for information or opinions, which I'd say was the reverse before I bust my connection... makes you think doesn't it?! and out of the blogs I read I'm much more interested in those which are written by people I'm really in relationship with (i.e. have met and will continue to meet face to face) although I very occasionally pop into others...
perhaps linked to this, I'm chewing over a theory at the moment, that the more ways we have to communicate, the less we do so, and certainly the less we do so in any depth... for example 5 years ago when I moved from Cambridge to Sheffield I was on the phone to my friends back in Cambridge quite a lot and for decent amounts of time. Now it's very rare that I talk on the phone to anyone other than my parents (and don't seem to be much good at that these days either!) and in terms of social communication with my friends from Sheff it is generally just a text, or once in a blue moon an email... I do try and make myself write real letters from time to time, but very rarely get one in return.. does that just mean I've got to the age where my friends are settling down and that there immediate social circle (ie their new family) is more important than distant friends, or we've all got to the stage where we've moved too many times and can no longer invest in anyone other than the people who are right here in front of us? or is it that we think we can easily stay in touch any time and therefore we never actually do? or is it just me?!
4 comments:
good to have you back Naomi...the blogging world has been much poorer without you these last few months.
Friendship has always been tricky for me. I have friends scattered from here to kingdom come. But I think the key word is immediate. Here in Oxford are where my immediate friends are. So I invest in them. Because I guess I am opportunistic. It's easy and it means that I get a rapid response. But I would suspect that your friends that you have invested in the past will still think highly of you, and when you see them again it is all good.
However, I still feel bad for neglecting them - hell, in the past month and a half I have seen almost no one from hOME.
The great proliferation of communication technology I think can be a good thing - I often call friends in Edinburgh/London/wherever when I am walking, or sometimes when I am driving... So I can keep i touch. But the proliferation of technology means that I have lots of little moments with people that seem a bit light and not al that tasty. These frustrate me. Also when I am walking and talking I don't notice my world - I don't smell the flowers. And that sucks.
Without a doubt the best form of communication is a visit. then a letter and then a phone call. The rest (especially text messaging) seem to be too safe - they don't require a commitment to communicate with the other person. Sometimes that's good too...
It's good that you want more relationship with God. That's healthy. me: I'm addicted to information. An ironic confession as he types madly. and badly.
Oh, and having seen several close friends with kids, most of them have no choice - they have to restrict how many people they can keep up with. I fear that they regret it as much as we do.
But that's just my two cents.
I think out of every place I've lived in I have a couple of friends who I don't communicate with regularly, but whenever we make the effort to see them we have the longest most in depth chats of anyone. They know me thouroughly, there's no recriminations for not being in touch, just an acceptance that life moves on and is busy wherever you live. That acceptance means I don't feel guilty too, which is never a good basis for a friendship!
yeah, but I really MISS people. I think it's really sad how 'life moves on' and consequently we have random friends from all over the place who don't know each other. I'm having my 30th birthday next week - most of the people coming to my party will only have met before at my wedding! I wish life was different like that, and having kids certainly makes life very different for everyone. I end up investing in local relationships but you can't beat a friend who's known you for years and years, who totally accepts you and knows your history. I think that's priceless and that's what I miss so much having lived in Oxford for nearly 3 years and seen new fiendships come and go.
pip
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