On the trials of being a grown-up...

y'know most of the time I really appreciate the benefits of being an adult - you get to decide what you do and when, you are able to help others, use your discernment etc. In fact I was thinking the other day about how much our culture promotes the idea that childish behaviour (like getting your own way, living a self-centred life) is a value to uphold and yet completely fail to be child-like in the way Jesus recommended it (asking questions and expecting trustworthy answers, humility, willingness to love)

however there are days I think I am too good at this, the emotional effort at 'holding it all together' becomes a real burden and that people have no idea that I sometimes (how will they know when?!) long for somebody to take the decisions for/look after me - and this especially applies to holidays for me - I know they are vital, but I actually find them quite stressful - who should I ask? Will they want to go? Where can we find, that we all want to go to, and can afford? Do we have time free at the same time? And after all that gets sorted we MUST have a 'good' time and we MUST come back relaxed and refreshed!!! ... no pressure then

... and so I sometimes long for the time when those decisions were made for me, and all I had to do was sit in the backseat of the car and refrain from arguing with my brother and we would arrive at some lovely location ready for exploration, new food, fun and sandcastles on the beach! Ho-hum!

sigh...

v tired... not much nearer finding a placement... but me and my sermon on the Transfiguration survived sermon class on Monday and the chapel service I lead this morning went well... God turned up, which was nice...

this year's weekly placement

Tomorrow I go to Begbroke Priory (I've only just found their website) for my weekly placement, this will be my fourth visit... and so far it's mainly consisted of chatting to Sister Anne Verena (about prayer, the religious life, ministry, future jobs etc), who is brilliant - she's really down to earth and has a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous! I've also been to a couple of their daily services (I think they have 4 a day).

I'm hoping the bus (only a 15 minute trip) will get me there in time for their daily Eucharist - tomorrow it's All Soul's Day, so it's 'All Soul's Mass' should be pretty interesting... not sure if we'll be praying for the dead or not!