Christmas in the 'burbs...

well, here I am still at my parents - 'cos my brother is still around (back from Kenya briefly) ... not that seems to make any difference to how much we see him, he's off out catching up with friends! (all my friends from school have very sensibly moved away from this smug characterless town) ho-hum...

it is very weird being back here for an extended period - everyone seems to revert back into role... I seem to lose my individual identity, and just float along doing what I'm told, and running off to watch tv and surf the 'net (and doing some work, but not too much!) like the teenager I used to be ... it is really odd this lack of personal space - seems to wipe out my relationship with God as I know it (i.e. I'm not really praying, reading the Bible or thinking about stuff for myself) so what does that mean for someone who theoretically believes that being a Christian is not an individualistic enterprise, but should be about joining the body of Christ, being in community? does this mean I have totally the wrong model of spirituality to match this ideal? maybe so...

on a lighter note, Christmas has been fun, seen a lot more of both sides of the family than I often do at Christmas which is good and weird at the same time... and I've been happily watching much of what my new 'Return of the King' extended edition dvd has to offer - great stuff:)

We're all teenagers...

I've just stumbled across this fascinating article about the power of youth in an aging culture... I think the church, and especially the 'emerging' church movement has succumbed to this worldview fairly whole-heartedly... and I'm not sure this is a good thing! The writer says:

The turning point, of course, was the 1960s. Until then, young people were largely ignored in a culture that was determinedly and stiflingly middle-aged. A generation, who were brought up in very different conditions from those of their parents, rebelled in a way that remains unprecedented in western society.

Why is it unprecedented? What are we missing? (I'm not questioning that we've gained things) previous cultures really valued their elders, whereas I'm not even sure I know how to even listen properly to the wisdom of my elders anymore - I'm reading a book written in 1968 which is supposed to be a seminal work (Francis Schaeffer's The God Who Is There) and apart from the fact I only dimly understand some of it, I struggle to escape the attitude of 'this is so modernist, what can it possibly have to say to me?' ! Surely it will have something to say... after all I don't seem to have that problem with the Bible or the early church writers... hmmm - any comment?

happy/sad...

a dear friend of mine got engaged last week, and mostly I am so chuffed that he did, like you wouldn't believe...

but things like that also make me sad, 'cos changes like these has often meant losing things that are precious - and friendships have to be the most precious things to me... whilst this change wouldn't necessarily mean that we'll lose touch anymore than the fact that we will be leaving college and going off to different places, it just was a marker which made me reflect on leaving people behind, and how rubbish it is, and how I've done it too often, and how at the moment I don't have anyone (apart from the big G obviously) who'll stay with me - and that makes me sad... ho-hum!

Will I ever learn to thrive on change I wonder?! Does leaving people benefit me and them sometimes? It would be good to have some clue about the answers!

I'm not sure whether the fact that I'm visiting friends in Sheffield this coming weekend helps me or not... but I am very much looking forward to it:)

Humorously convicting...

I've just found this on Maggi Dawn's blog... and I'd just been musing to my friend Stevie J that I'm still struggling with my more conservative brothers and sisters in the Christian world... and also with those who disagree with me polictically... oh to be humble, and loving, and right too;) !

mutuality...

further to my previous post (thanks for the comments Pete and Jen, they really helped:)... I think what I've been edging towards for a long while is:

• learning to celebrate what is great about the opposite sex, to honour and respect men for who they are, not denigrate them for what they're not (which is where the wondering about giving them priority in leadership came from) ...
• at the same time (like Jen said) cherish what's fab about being a woman from the 'frivolous' to the 'deep' stuff, and not to sell myself short
  

it's all good, these difference that God has made:) ... perhaps that's another layer of meaning to that thing in the marriage service that says 'what God has joined let no one seperate'?!

well better get on with my 'worship' (i.e. liturgy) essay... ho-hum