My brain is finite... but the mind of God is infinite..

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.

I have just finished two long essays (Church History, and the contemporary world) and am in the midst of what Wycliffe Hall likes to call an 'Integrated Study Week' (Birth and Baptism... with a lot more besides) ... and I am much relieved to know that:

a) God has given me a brain so that I can appreciate the many questions that are provoked by His existence and His creation...

b) That I am not expected to and cannot contain, or discover, all the answers to those questions, but that God does...

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say by that, except relief that humanity is not the peak of existence, if we are, then I'm pretty sure we are in trouble!

thoughts about community... and sunny days:)

This is great little reflection on community... and a real help for me to think about how I was feeling on Friday ... written by a guy I know vaguely through being in Sheffield...

Just to share a 'warm and fuzzy' (to counterbalance my tendency to blog when feeling rubbish) I'd just like to say that I've had a great day so far today ... up early, cup of tea, off for a swim at the new uni pool (30 lengths - new pb;), back for scrambled eggs for brekkie, sorted through stuff that has needed doing for ages, long lunch at the pub in the sunshine with hOMEies and my old friend Matt Rutter ... then Matt I went to go punting, but ended up with a big canoe... which was great ... nothing is lovelier than English rivers in the sunshine! More days like this please!!

I wish... I wish... Or do I?

Sigh... Trying to readjust to the high-pressure world of theological college (even though lectures don't start for another 3 weeks) - through the slightly odd medium of a New Wine Ordinands Conference here in Oxford - much good stuff, and feel the promise of much more good stuff from God - but oh how these things bring out all my insecurities in gloriously focused technicolour!!

It's the first time I've seen some of my fellow ordinands at Wycliffe for a while - and one of the first things they want to know is

'Did you a Have a Good Holiday?'

... and the answer is kind of complicated... in the sense that

'No, I did not Go Somewhere Sunny (because I find it hard to know who to go with/ would like to go with me... and some who said that would, didn't)... and Actually I was in Hospital for 6 Days because I had my Appendix Out and I've been Catching Up With Work and when you ask that, it feels like my 'holiday' has been A Bit of a Slog'

but also...

'Yes, as I had a lovely time catching up with my family for a few days in Devon (I nearly said heaven!) and I went to New Wine A - where I enjoyed the camping and (shock, horror) quite a few of the talks, and I had ten days in Sheffield housesitting - I really enjoyed having somewhere to have people round, and catching up with friends in a chilled out way, and going to the Peak District, and joining the Order of Mission which holds lots of possibilities for the future (mine and the Church's!)... but... that's not so concrete, is it?'

Holidays often feel like a bit of pressure to me to Have a Good Time and Chill Out... it's strange isn't it? But that's How It Is... 'cos holidays have become the obligatory high point of years where we only work under sufferance, and kicking back is What It's All About... maybe I'm coming over all bitter and twisted about this 'cos there's lots of letting go (I originally said work!) I'd like to do, about being secure enough in all that God has made me and share it with other people... actually, sometimes I am... but at the moment it feels like mostly I'm not... guess it does have to be worked through - find out what's going on underneath!

There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience. Hebrews 4: 9-11

Perhaps we need to 'make every effort' (!) to live in that rest body, mind and spirit!