Absence makes the heart grow fonder?
Well, well, been away long time... been poorly sick (as my friend Ema would say) - two days after long absent parents return to the country, they have to rush me into their local hospital for what turned out to be an emergency op. to remove a rather icky appendix...
I think all and sundry are hoping this is the end to a year of unprecedented ill-health for me. It's been proper frustrating! However when all's said and done I am almost completely better - just lacking a bit of oomph on the energy front... even that seems to be getting better every day! (am on iron tablets for anemia:)
What slightly worries me about being ill is that so much of what I consider to be 'me' seems to disappear. I talk to God only occasionaly, I'm really antisocial and I find it really difficult to care for myself or others... in some ways fair enough, but in others - especially the God thing - how on earth can I say that this is a fundamental part of me when it flees away so easily and almost without me noticing?
Of course the other possibility is that because I've related to God for all my life I don't actually know what it feels like to be totally without Him, what actually disappears is the religion that I put on top!! Certainly I always knew everything was going to be OK one way or the other, and wasn't worried about stuff in ways I'm sure many people are. Hmmm...
Talking of absence, having both my parents and my 'little' brother back in the country for a short while has made me realise (despite instant bickering on the way home from the airport!!) how much they are part of me and whole I feel when they are around. Not in any dramatic way, it just 'is', much in the way that grass 'is' green and it would only be noticeable if it wasn't ... they're great:) I feel privileged to be part of such a family. The next puzzle is how to lay hold of and give away the best of what I've been given through it!
I think all and sundry are hoping this is the end to a year of unprecedented ill-health for me. It's been proper frustrating! However when all's said and done I am almost completely better - just lacking a bit of oomph on the energy front... even that seems to be getting better every day! (am on iron tablets for anemia:)
What slightly worries me about being ill is that so much of what I consider to be 'me' seems to disappear. I talk to God only occasionaly, I'm really antisocial and I find it really difficult to care for myself or others... in some ways fair enough, but in others - especially the God thing - how on earth can I say that this is a fundamental part of me when it flees away so easily and almost without me noticing?
Of course the other possibility is that because I've related to God for all my life I don't actually know what it feels like to be totally without Him, what actually disappears is the religion that I put on top!! Certainly I always knew everything was going to be OK one way or the other, and wasn't worried about stuff in ways I'm sure many people are. Hmmm...
Talking of absence, having both my parents and my 'little' brother back in the country for a short while has made me realise (despite instant bickering on the way home from the airport!!) how much they are part of me and whole I feel when they are around. Not in any dramatic way, it just 'is', much in the way that grass 'is' green and it would only be noticeable if it wasn't ... they're great:) I feel privileged to be part of such a family. The next puzzle is how to lay hold of and give away the best of what I've been given through it!