frankly?

Recently I've been having a bit of a dilemma about what to post here, because I know that friends, and strangers (from time to time;), who read this are coming from completely different places spiritually (even if I don't what those places are...) and thinking about it, that's true of those who hear what I say I the 'real' world too...

so how much do I say about what I'm thinking about matters 'internal' to the church ... there's lots of blogs out there that are quite interesting to church geeks like me;) (which could be both incomprehensible and dull to those who couldn't give a monkeys)?

And how much do I need to say about 'what I'm doing/where I've been' (which, frankly, could be quite unnecessary and dull to all concerned ;)? although that was the reason for setting up a blog in the first place, to dispense with the need for emailing out newsletters too often...

I think you might all have to put up with general musings on other 'stuff'...

And if I don't talk a little about these things to all of my friends and acquaintances how honest am I being?
Of course there are levels of things that are appropriate to say, and sometimes I'm a bit too open with the wrong people, at the wrong time, 'cos I worry about not being 'honest'! (sigh, it's hard work being me!!)
But I think we should at least share a sniff of what else we are in other situations too, otherwise integrity (a universally valued commodity!) can easily slip away...

hmmm 'answers' on comments please;)

Several and various good things...

had people round for dinner for the first time (my good friends Steve, Rob & Steph, & flatmate Nat) last night - good to realise that I can do this, even if we eat from plates on our knees in my bedroom/study! Can't see me ever feeling comfortable with inviting people who have 'proper' houses round tho'... oh the joys of being a single ordinand!

I feel like I've turned a corner with the whole loneliness thing - something I've been struggling with quite a lot this year. It seems to be like fog - suddenly appears and blankets everything, distancing me from everyone around and then slips away gradually without me noticing... it's made me realise tho' that it's often more of a state of mind, rather than directly linked to the 'real-life' situation I'm in (although that obviously has some bearing on it!)

I went with a couple of other people from Wycliffe, to a conference in London (Kensington v. posh!) called 'mission-shaped church' on Wednesday. It was about changing ways of doing church/ church planting within the Church of England - really encouraging on lots of levels, just a few quotable points were:

* don't try to be relevant, focus on relationships and you will be!
* Jesus didn't set out to found the institution of the church, but nor did it happen by accident - church is the event which happens when we encounter Jesus (from the Archbishop's address)
* church should look more and more like a taste of the new heaven and earth..

I think the most exciting thing was the level of encouragement from the Archbishop and other Bishops to be creative about how to do church... we don't have to do this 'on the sly':)

Noticeable by His absence...

One of the things I've been doing recently is reading some blogs of people involved in doing church 'new' ways ... and I'm kind of disappointed (or maybe I haven't been logging on often enough;), ... there's lots of interesting discussion about what we do and what we think about it. They are, of course, discussions and ideas that need to be shared, but that's not what I care about the most when doing/being church, any kind of style of church ...

What I am excited about is that we get to be disciples of Jesus, to enter his presence without fear, to be transformed into the people we were meant to be, to tell people that they are loved and wanted no matter what (that's what I love the most about being a Christian, getting to love people like God does:).. and that's what I really want to hear about when people are doing new kinds of church - is the creativity and freshness of 'emerging church' releasing people to be more effective disciples? are we enabled to be more generous and Spirit filled? ultimately is it a place where we meet God in an even deeper way? if so I want to catch some of that!
I don't care, really, what the church does or what it looks like if not... I guess testimonies are hard to write without seeming super-spiritual, but surely it must be possible? well I guess if it's possible I'd better start looking around me too;)

clearly procrastinating now (avoiding writing a long overdue essay on Luther!)... picked a new template - quite like it, trying to go for that 'old book' look to match the chronicles theme - however since i blog purely through guess work have lost a few features... nothing too drastic I hope!

any feedback on the profile (by those who know me!!) would be great - not sure this really reflects me, but couldn't put my finger on more than what i'm doing at the moment to be able to put it down into words!

btw hello Elaine Storkey (one of my tutors) I found out the other day she's read my blog a couple of times... scary!

so Trinity Term and my first year at Wycliffe is over ... craziness! In some ways it has sped past, but in other ways I struggle to remember life outside this bubble or imagine life after it.
Quite scary saying goodbye to all those who are going on to curacies right now - moving fully into the whole life vocation that ordination is i.e. living in goldfish bowl! I guess i'm still trying to imagine what kind of place i want to go to and how on earth i'd cope with doing it on my own (i'd really rather not) - anywhere God's on the move and i can join in would be good;)
I watched the film 'The Mission' the other day for the first time - beautiful and thought provoking ... as a subsidary reflction, i could really see for the first time when i looked at the Jesuit priests why being single can really be an advantage when you are trying to take a stand for things that are right and will put you in danger... very challenging. Anyhow a great film with a great soundtrack!

hello, hello!

thanks to all who commented - good to know i'm not just talking to myself... carry on commenting;)

well been quite enjoying myself recently - we had a college ball, which was actually great fun, really well organised, lots of people and i didn't run away (or even want to) - which is often my reaction to these things.

the sunny weather definitely helps cheeriness ratings, as does good chats with lots of lovely people at Wycliffe - i do like this place... even if lacks the perfection of being in Sheffield and Oxford at the same time!!

second lot of sermons coming up on Sunday, so that should be fun, especially as i've had a lot more recent experience of speaking than i did last time round!

am actually looking forward to summer hols now - short trip to Italy, family holiday in Devon and probably a couple of weeks in Sheff at the end of August... must remember to do my essays too!

....and finally, as originally identified on my trip to South Carolina, USA

I am 92.5% British, just like
HRH Prince Charles
Though you'll never be king you certainly know where your castle is.

Take the Brit Quiz at
darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm


just in case you hadn't guessed!